It’s going to be really easy to keep this review short, because Next was nothing but a bad-looking waste of time.
When’s the last time a good movie has pulled off an “And it was all just a dream” ending? Oh, right; never. Good movies don’t do that. Next doesn’t do this literally, but it is still very much a “None of this ever happened” sort of thing. You’re right. I just spoiled the ending. OH NO. I don’t think I ruined the movie, though. Cage and his ever-worsening hair-thing already did that for me.
He wants so badly to look like a badass, but it never happens unless he’s being completely disguised behind a flaming skeleton exterior (Although that movie was no good, it wasn’t the flaming skeleton part’s fault). And he’s really never successfully acted like a badass. I really hate watching him hurt himself like this. Then again, he’s hurting himself all the way to the bank (Unless he gets paid a percentage of the box office returns).
So, yeah, I don’t think I’ve got the stomach to ever try watching the new Bangkok Dangerous. One can only hope (And feel, deep in his stomach, that it’s not going to happen) that Cage will stop trying to be an action movie star in these awful-looking movies. Next had the most ridiculous-looking trailer I’ve seen in a long time, and the movie lived up to that image quite enthusiastically.
Skip this one like a rock. By throwing the DVD into a lake, if you have to.