Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

He’s here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. He’s all out of bubblegum, but it looks like those babies over there have got some more.

The one thing I ever wanted from the Star Wars prequels was to see Darth Vader giving the Jedi reason to fear him. I didn’t expect the movies would be more concerned with showing young Vader grow and mature into a whiny teenager. And then Episode III caps itself off with his destruction of the Jedi Nursery Temple (With the considerable help of an army, mind you), then getting several new assholes cut into him by Obi-Wan. The focus I would have chosen, the destruction of all of the (And here I have to stipulate, “Grown-up”) Jedi? It was turned into a minute-long montage, and only Yoda and Obi-Wan are able to escape the death trap of “being shot at by clone troopers” – thanks to their “We’re in Episodes IV through VI” Plot Sense, I guess.

It is unforgivable.

However, this movie gets a lot of things right that Attack of the Clones screwed up. The plot is a lot simpler and not as luckily coincidental, the lightsaber duels are one hell of a lot better, and we don’t have to worry about Lucas making another Star Wars sequel, ever again. Ewan McGregor is, yet again, absolutely the highlight of the film.

The rest of the movie is still a huge mess that ranges from “I’m so sick of how every Trade Federation robot constantly makes cute annoying noises, were they made by Playskool?” to “Really? Haven’t drank the ‘Slice up battle droids with lightsabers’ well dry, yet?” to “Medical robots accept ‘Broken heart’ as a cause of death? That’s not a bright future for medicine.”

Disappointing, to say the least. Lucas continues to ignore what made his original trilogy great, as well as what was great about The Clone Wars cartoon shorts (Which is more understandable, as he had much less involvement with those).

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