Stardust (2007)

Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? Because you look like Satan.

Credit where Claire Danes is due: she is actually pretty damn attractive. Theoretically, near the beginning of Stardust she was uglified in vague and subtle, mysterious ways so that the obvious storybook ending would be a little less obvious by the time she started looking really appealing near the movie’s end. And that might just be something I pulled out of my own… uh, thin air.

Stardust is really the closest thing I’ve seen to the swashbuckling, light-hearted (Serious-toned) fantasy romantic capering that The Princess Bride does so epically well. Naturally, no two of THOSE movies could ever be alike… and so Stardust is also, somehow, nothing at all like The Princess Bride. Everything is different, but the tone is similar and it’s a romantic fantasy sort of thing. So. There you have it.

Stardust is pretty dark at times, but uproariously funny. Everyone in the movie has a pretty solid and interesting role to play, but only one of them is Michelle Pfeiffer. Shit, she’s incredibly hot still. I have to wonder how much longer it took the make-up department to uglify her than to make her look young and pretty. Um… everyone else also does a great job. I have utterly no complaints about the acting. Only compliments. The soundtrack is great. The story is fairly engrossing.

Sucker that I may be for fairy tales, this is a particularly pleasing one in that it doesn’t shy away from the perspectives of the evil witches, or power-hungry princes. The only part that threw me a bit off-kilter was that the only thing separating the fantasy world in Stardust from the actual world (In England) is a wall. A little wall. That’s a little bit hard to accept, because logically it implies that the fantasy land (I can’t for the life of me remember the name of it) is physically located somewhere in the heart of England, and no one’s noticed it yet. It’s somewhat necessary for the plot, and I can only assume that it comes from the book… but it’s just, well, the weirdest way to get to a place that doesn’t exist on our planet that I’ve ever heard of in a fantasy story. Wardrobes, rabbit holes, mirrors and train station pillars don’t “make sense” as magical portals, either, but at least you get the impression that once you’re on the other side of them you wouldn’t still see airplanes flying overhead.


  1. Evidently this “fantasy world” doesnt’t play by the rules and can somehow be hidden by a small wall. BTW I really enjoyed Robert “you lookin at me” DeNiro. as the ship’s captain. Fun movie, not the kids flick I expected (though kids I am sure will enjoy the heck out of it).


  2. P’raps it is not hidden by the wall, but only available through that gate/hole in the wall. In other words… its in another dimension and the portal is a big long line that was blocked up by a wall but became open when part of the wall fell down… no I think its making less and less sense the more I try to explain it. Still, I liked the movie too. 😀


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