The Punisher (2004)

It is always important for your enemies to know that the last thing to go through their heads was a bullet.

As comic book movies go, this is not the worst offering. The Punisher offers some decent action and some decent acting. Unfortunately, it is all pretty nonsensical to a fan of the Punisher from the comic books. This movie Punisher, although portrayed well enough by the actor Thomas Jane, relies on a voodoo shirt and runs around behind the scenes to convince his main nemesis that his wife is cheating on him with his best friend. And, yes, uses a popsicle to “torture” information out of a guy (it seemed like a clever scene to me, but it’s badly out of place in this movie. Or, at least, in what this movie should have been). This Punisher manages to get his entire family – second cousins thrice removed and all – killed off all at the same time, just by not really being responsible for the death of some “crime lord’s” son.

And something that I, personally, find unbearable is the way people die in this movie. Every head shot, killing explosion, and paper-cutter-blade-in-the-head is usually marked with an exclamation of pain or surprise from the villainous victim. Come on! Even C-3PO only said “Oh no! I’ve been shot!” after being reassembled. I am tired of seeing splattered brains on the wall and then hearing the dude splurt out a death cry that I would have to spell onomatopoetically.

John Travolta’s death wailing is especially silly, although that is a separate kind of annoyance.

And did I mention that this movie was based in Miami? That wasn’t a good idea for even the Miami Vice movie.

The Punisher is just not what I hoped for. The main character seems like the sort of guy who would give up that line of work as soon as he stops feeling emo and listening to depressing music (followed by “pump up” music).


  1. The Punisher is an alright action movie, but not a great Punisher comic adaptation. I mean, the parts lifted from the weird Ennis and Dillon run were kind of cool, and actually that popsicle scene was lifted from a Chuck Dixon/J. Romita Jr. issue from the early 90s, but overall it didn’t do the Punisher the kind of justice it should have (bienvenido a Miami??).


  2. OMG this was a HORRIBLE *Punisher* movie…I just cant remove the franchise from the movie to consider it as just an action movie (given its title and story). As a movie about the Punisher I thought it was crapawful, he was not the hell bent on revenge half-psychotic death dealer that you would <>expect<>. A popsicle…how quaint.


  3. Good news: <>Punisher 2<> is apparently going to be so much worse that Thomas Jane has uninvolved himself with it entirely, based on the script. Still no news regarding an <>Elektra 2: Elektrik Boogaloo<> movie.


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